1. Feedback conversations will be long and drawn out

According to Riegel, "don't assume that every conversation needs to be long or multifaceted." While some feedback conversations will need to be longer, some of them can be short, especially if you're working with a "feedback magnet."

A feedback magnet is a person who "readily accepts and acts on feedback," Riegel writes. With these types of colleagues, you may be able to give them fast feedback by sharing a behavior or performance you've observed. Because feedback magnets are self-aware, self-motivated, and self-directed, they will often acknowledge their mistakes and have their own plans on how to remedy them.

2. Feedback needs to be perfect

Most performance feedback combines both objective and subjective input, which means that your employee may not see things the same way as you do. So, you might not get your feedback "right" the first time around.

Instead of having a feedback monologue, opening a dialogue with your employees can offer new information, perspectives, and reactions to consider. Your planned 30-minute meeting may then become a series of discussions, which could be more useful for everyone involved.

According to Riegel, there are several circumstances in which feedback might need more than one conversation, including:

• The feedback being nuanced or complex
• You're not sure if the person understands the feedback
• You're not sure if you understand the other person's perspective
•  The recipient has a negative reaction to the feedback, and you want to provide time to regroup
• You and the other person disagree about the feedback
• You didn't have enough context and want to update your feedback
• There's a mistake in your feedback, and you need to fix it

Understanding that feedback might take more than one conversation can make it easier in the short-term since "you can free yourself from needing to get it perfect right out of the gate," Riegel writes. "It can also make it easier in the long run, when your colleague learns that that you're going to give them the opportunity to share their perspective."

3. My feedback could be taken the wrong way

According to Riegel, she regularly hears concerns that giving feedback to employees will hurt their feelings or make them angry. This anxiety about employees' responses then leads to delays in helpful, timely, and direct feedback.

Without timely feedback, employees don't know how well they're doing, the places they need to develop, what's expected of them, and how they can improve going forward.

"It's understandable that you don't want to upset your direct reports — or anyone else for that matter," Riegel writes. "Nevertheless, other people's reactions and responses to feedback are largely out of your control (and sometimes out of their own)."

Although it can be helpful to know that you can't "make" someone feel angry or sad, it's also important to ensure that your part of the conversation is as helpful and productive as possible. To do this, you should state a positive intention for the feedback, be clear about what you've observed or are requesting, focus on strengths, and offer actionable next steps.

You should also ask for feedback on your own feedback, which can help you improve your impact on employees going forward. However, you may need to ask a direct report for this kind of upward feedback more than once. You can also offer specific examples of feedback skills that you know you need to improve.

Overall, "[g]iving feedback isn't optional for people leaders but making it harder than it needs to be certainly is," Riegel writes. (Riegel, Harvard Business Review, 7/26)

Good leaders are the driving force behind effective teams and successful organizations. Learn sustainable strategies to develop four essential skills for to be a better leader: practicing self-advocacy, coaching staff, increasing employee engagement, and creating an inclusive environment.